The idea of a higher power is to blame
After a lot of thinking about my time with Maharaj ji, I had this one
basic question ‘left over’. I believed his claims about heaven and eternal
peace, although everybody that I loved told me they could never be true. Still
I believed him and kept doing so for years and years. Why? The same goes
for his misbehavior, like spending enormous amounts of money, earned in hard
premie-labor, on personal extravagance. That for sure I knew before, it was all
over the press in those days. What wasn’t then, but later on definitely popped
up, where stories about tax fraud in the US, accusations of the Indian
government about his role in a car accident, and his (not) dealing with the
alleged misbehavior of some of his mahatma’s (like raping ashramsisters and
beating up people opposing him).
Wether all these stories are true or not, is a major topic of
discussion amongst his former followers. But I have a different question: why
didn't all this news alarm me? Why accept something from Maharaj ji or his
mahatma’s, that I would never have accepted from the guy next door? And even
more shocking: how come I did listen to Maharaj ji and did not listen to all
the very dear friends and family that before I met Maharaj ji where my most reliable
source of information about life? For instance: I had a brother that was very
close to me. He didn’t want to give up on me when I moved into an ashram, so he
kept on seeing me, patiently listened to all the satsang I was obliged to give
him, even said ‘the man might have a point with this meditation thing’, but
still warning me all the time: you’re losing yourself and that can never be
good. I didn’t listen to him. Instead, I told him that the ashram was a place
for satsang and he should leave if he wasn’t interested in that. So he left.
Why move everything valuable in my life so far aside and go for the
promises of a man that lived the kind of life that I despised? I refused to
take driving lessons at the time, longing for a new world where everybody would
ride a bike, but devoted everything I had and could to a man that had tons
worth of cars and claimed he should in addition have his own airplane as well.
Why did I do that?
I can only find one answer that holds up: because I believed in the idea
of a higher power, the idea of something way above the laws of human life. Only
experiencing that, would make life worth living. That’s what I got out of all
these stories in church, lit with candles and surrounded by high pitched voices
singing ‘gloria in excelcis deo’. That’s what I got out of reading all these
holy books and looking at the pictures of the ‘Yogi’s from India’. That’s what
I got out of floating around on mescaline. Thát was life. Not my brother
studying hard to become a doctor. Not my parents doing their best to raise five
children. Not my girlfriend wanting to hold and kiss me. Life wasn’t about
that, life was about something way beyond that.
That idea, that’s what made me bring all I had, including myself, to an
ashram of Maharaj ji because I honestly thought he was going to put me in touch
with that power that was worth so much more than what I saw around me. And if
he wouldn’t have been around to promise me that, someone else would have.
So my major lesson in life is: I was wrong. In following Maharaj ji, but
more basically in believing there was something like perfection. There isn’t.
What you see is what you get. This is it, and being happy with that, is the art
of living. A fine art though, and one I can use a lot of help with. But not the
kind of help Maharaj ji offers. More like the friendship my brother had to
offer and the kisses from my girlfriend.
Jos
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I think I disagree. The idea of (a) higher power(s) has been with humans
since the very beginning apparently. Most people either ignore it or go along
with their culture's religion. A small minority use it as a focus of their
lives.
It's the next step that got us into trouble. The idea that someone could
put you in touch with that HP was the crux for us that caused us to become
involved. While nearly everyone who ever lived has accepted the higher powers
proposition there has only ever been a very small percentage of people who've
accepted the second idea and only a small percentage of them who've given it a
try.
Can you blame the major idea for it's tiny bastard offspring?
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I wouldn't call millions of people putting their own sound judgment
aside for some kind of religious promise a 'tiny bastard offspring'.
My parents didn't use condoms, though they wanted to, because the pope
said they were not allowed. They obeyed him, because the pope was their liaison
with god. Result: they drifted away from their own (pretty basic!) choices in
life plus made the 'tiny bastard offspring' even bigger in the process.
My point is: by dropping the whole 'higher powers' idea, popes, gurus
and what have you not lose their power to take over your life. A much more
effective way than trying to convert the pope, or Maharaj ji for that matter.
Jos
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There is no premeditated rip off
So here’s my second conclusion after five years with Maharaj ji:
contrary to what a lot of people say about a cult like DLM en its leader, in my
opinion there is no scheme, no premeditated rip off, no conspiracy to brainwash
people, take their money and run. Maharaj ji and the people around him are
convincing, because they believe in what they’re saying and doing. Not always,
but for these moments there is of course this holy commandment ‘don’t leave any
room for doubt in your mind’ to get you back on track.
I cannot judge the present situation, but back then when I was with the
Divine Light Mission I’m convinced Maharaj ji truly believed he was the Lord of
the Universe and here to bring peace to the world. I truly believed that and so
did all these other premies around me. And because we did, we convinced others.
And that’s exactly why whatever any non-believer says and proofs to you,
it just never hits home. You live under this dome of belief, together with
these other believers. If you want to get out, you’ll have to make the first
little hole all by yourself. And hope people out there don’t start arguing
about brainwashing and rip offs, once you made it. That’s what it might look
like from the outside, but it doesn’t explain the power of a cult and its
leader. Belief does.
Jos
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It has become very difficult for me to accept that Prem Rawat sincerely
thought he was the Lord of the Universe – compassionate by definition – and
wasn’t fully culpable and complicit in his own extreme exploitation of his
followers in order to satisfy his sick lust for wealth and excessive
materialism.
How could any intelligent person who behaves like that honestly and
sincerely believe themselves to be the Lord of the Universe? That would
be a lord the universe could do without.
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My point is: we could and should do without any Lord of the Universe.
That’s why I don’t focus as much as some others do on his misbehavior. Please
don’t misunderstand: everything immoral and illegal is bad and wrong and should
of course always be dealt with in the appropriate way! In discussing Maharaj ji
I tend to skip the topic of his misbehavior though, because however he would
have behaved, following him would in my opinion still be basically wrong.
There’s no such thing for me as the right type of guru. That’s what I
found out following one and going till the end in devoting my life to him. The
idea itself of a higher power, far beyond the human conditions, and a guru to
get you in synch with that, is by definition robbing you of a sound basis for
your life. That’s my conclusion after following the Lord of the Universe. Not
that he should get his act together and get sincere, truthful and kind. It’s
the act itself that stinks. And realizing that, is freedom to me.
Jos